September Seminars and Thoughts

I've been away traveling in and around upstate New York for large parts of August so I missed posting an August blog and now its September! The Family Law Support Team at www.divorce-advice-ontario.com is going through a busy period. On Sept 16th and 24th we're running our 8th and 9th Seminars of the year. Since we launched in December of 2008 our seminars have been my favorite aspect of this venture, not just because I am always challenged and excited by the people I meet and the stories they tell, but also because these seminars have been the starting point for many long term relationships with people we've helped get clarity on their complex family law proceedings. To be honest I also enjoy the challenge of public speaking.

I've been thinking a lot recently about relationships, as I think everyone does, and how they relate to what I'm doing through work. There's definitely another level to divorce that the legal system and lawyers are usually incapable of addressing and that's the emotional toll that these situations take on people and the need to resolve that spectrum of divorce. I think it's important to allow yourself to grieve if you have been hurt by the loss "failure" of a marriage. In my opinion the best way to do that is to settle your differences with your ex quickly and outside of the court system. Too many people drag things out in court to get "back" at the other party but this only prevents them from moving on with their lives quicker and makes lawyers richer. That is why we always suggest settling to our clients. Try to look beyond the emotional issues so you can get the logistics completed, then you will have a blank slate to work on your personal issues.

Once you have the legal ties between you cut with a divorce order and you have agreed to your future association/disassociation through asset division, support, custody schedule, child support and so on, you can then go to work on the hard part of managing your psychology and personal life as a divorcee.

I'll write more about the concept of "failure" and how it applies to marriage and relationships (doesn't really exist at all) soon.

Warm Regards,

JL