Emotions and Divorce

Here is a quote from "Radical Honesty" by Brad Blanton. I highly recommend this book for EVERYONE, in particular if you are going through the emotional process of separation, divorce or have unresolved emotional energy from a divorce in your past, including your parent's divorce.

I found many of the ideas put forth in this title to be refreshing and useful. At the end of the day it is your own responsibility to manage your mental health, which can be easily lost in the shuffle of everyday life during a divorce proceeding.

"The process of forgiveness involves the following six minimal requirements, none of which may be skipped.

1. You have to tell the truth about what specific behav ior you resent, to the person, face-to-face;

2. You have to be verbally and vocally unrestrained with regard to volume and propriety;

3. You have to pay attention to the feelings and sensa tions in your body and to the other person as you speak;

4. You have to express any appreciations for the person that come up in the process, with the same attention to your feelings and to the other person as when you are expressing resentments;

5. You have to stay with any feelings that emerge in the process, like tears or laughter, regardless of any evalu ations you may have about how it makes you look;

6. You have to stay with the discussion until you no longer feel resentful of the other person.

Then, and only then, are you ready to talk about the future, make arrangements for the future, or make any agree-ments. Any lawyer, priest, psychotherapist, or other patrol-man who tells you differently about this is full of shit. Any diplomat, bureaucrat, democrat, labor leader, company executive, head of government, husband, wife, son, or daughter who attempts to do other than this is likewise full of shit."