Ontario Divorvce Proceedure changes

Following up on yesterday's post and the news from the attorney general's office, it looks like there may be some procedural changes to Ontario's family law system starting at the Brampton and Milton Family Law Court locations but the specifics of what these will look like and when they will be implemented is a while off yet.

For now, I wouldn't expect any changes to the logistics of a divorce application and the complex process that is involved with bringing a family law matter to our courts.

CBC News - Toronto - Ont. to try making divorce faster, cheaper

CBC News - Toronto - Ont. to try making divorce faster, cheaper

Big changes? The complexities of the divorce and family law process in Ontario is a mess, so any way to streamline the system and limit bureaucracy would be a benefit to tax payers. At the same time there is a need to innovate family law and design new ways to provide legal advice, both in the public and private sphere. A lot of insiders are calling for changes to the way assets are divided, specifically the matrimonial home, but any serious changes will bring about a revolt from a backlog of previous cases, which could bring about a flood of old cases back to the overextended courts.

The fact that someone could be married for 1 month and automatically get half a house they did not pay for is outdated. Society and marriage has changed and the law has stayed the same. Perhaps there should be a divorce tax to anyone getting married which would be returned to them after 30 years of marriage and used to fund the system if they don't stick together. Maybe that financial incentive would keep couples committed since the church, extended families and community don't play the same role they did in the past. Either way there are no easy solutions and a shuffling of resources in the province will unlikely provide the changes necessary.

Marital Disruption

Here is a good lecture on some interesting facets of marital disruption from Yale University...Click Here for http://www.academicearth.org/lectures/marital-disruption.

JL

Prenups

Here's an article from the globe and mail on prenups (marriage contracts)brought to attention lately by Tiger Woods.

Tiger's new prenup? Try renup

Lately, many people have been asking me about marriage contracts. One of the main things to remember is that you can not contract out of spousal support.

Common Law Partners and Property division

In Ontario, common law partners do not have legislative rights to a division of property upon separation.

This does not mean that common law partners have no property rights in the event of the breakdown of their relationship.

There is the option to claim unjust enrichment, and in some cases a resulting trust claim can be made.

Unjust enrichment occurs when one party gains a valuable advantage from another without legal reason. The three requirements for a finding of unjust enrichment are:

1. One spouse has been enriched;
2. There is a corresponding deprivation to the other spouse; and
3. There is no legal reason for the enrichment.

Unjust enrichment cases

Family Law Support in Ontario

Watch a youtube clip from Sept 23, 2009 of MPP Ontario Yasir Naqvi ask the attorney General about the Province's Legal aid plan - regarding family law Click here for the Clip.


In my slightly biased opinion, legal aid is not only underfunded, but the inactivity of the Provincial government to innovate the way legal aid, advice, information and representation is delivered to not only our less wealthy litigants, but the middle class too, has created a lot of inequity in the family law process.

If we look at what British Columbia has done within the past year, setting up Family Law assistance to the public through centers run by the Legal Services Society it is clear that family law litigants in that Province have a much easier path to information, advice, and aid than their Ontario counterparts. In fact, the Law Help Ontario centers in every courthouse in Ontario often do not provide assistance with family law related matters.

Here in Ontario private business like mine has had to fill the gaps. With the tightness of the Provincial budget what it is, this is unlikely to change. People will have to rely on a certain amount of goodwill from lawyers and legal professionals to get some discounted legal advice, until the underpinning structure of the legal system regarding family law and legal assistance to litigants is innovated.

November Family Law Support Team Notes

Hey,

Here are some random thoughts and notes about the Family Law Support Team as we head into another month.

It is interesting to point out that the divorce rate for people who have been remarried is higher than the rate for first marriages. In part this can be attributed to the fact that the fear of the unknown no longer exists in people who have 'been there and done that' so to speak. If you are about to become a first time divorcee or have been through the process before but want to do a better job, than I recommend coming to the Family Law Support Team's free seminar this month.

On the 25th of November my business - The Family Law Support Team - is holding another seminar, this time it is completely free. Showing up to one of these family law seminars is 'like getting punched in the face with a fist of knowledge' as I recently heard someone say.

If you can't make that then you can always book a free consultation with us. I read recently in the Metro that a lot of lawyers offer free consultations that end up entrapping potential clients and getting them hooked in. I can say with certainty that that kind of pressure does not exist in my business. The lawyers I use see many more people for free than those who end up retaining them. On top of that they are highly qualified and can demand from the market top dollar, so I am grateful they are giving back to the community through their involvement with the FLST.

When you come meet them, or hear them speak at our seminars, or work 1-on-1 in a workshop it will likely change your opinion of lawyers. The Canadian legal profession has taken a beating at times through books like lawyer's gone bad, which you can read an objective review of here: LAWYERS GONE BAD: MONEY, SEX AND MADNESS
IN CANADA’S LEGAL PROFESSION, by Philip
Slayton

Pets & Divorce

Man who got his wife's goat in bizarre divorce settlement

Oct 16th

You don't expect this to be happening still, but nonetheless...

Interracial couple denied marriage license in La.

October Thoughts

Well the cold weather is here and I've definitely noticed an increase in business and people contacting me with divorce related questions. This got me thinking if higher divorce rates would correlate geographically with cold weather/less sun.

Well according to William R. Maddox Jr., from Marriage Savers, in the US of A at least, "Strangely enough, the divorce rate of any place in the continental United States can be reliably predicted by knowing the number of days out of the year that women there can wear swimsuits. Generally, the more warm weather days suitable for bathing attire, the higher the divorce rate; the more cold weather days unsuitable for swimwear, the lower the divorce rate."

US Divorce Rates and Geography

Catch 22

If you saw yesterday's Toronto Star you may have caught the curious case of Larissa Chism and Tara Ranzy, a lesbian couple from Indiana who married in Ontario. Their predicament is that they now wish to divorce and Ontario law stipulates that one spouse must reside in the Province for at least one year in order to have divorce granted. Of course Indiana does not legally allow or recognize gay marriage. Put it all together and you get some silliness.


Here is the article:

http://www.thestar.com/article/699523

Family Psychology

http://www.academicearth.org/lectures/intro-families-and-couples

Psychology of couples/families.

September Seminars and Thoughts

I've been away traveling in and around upstate New York for large parts of August so I missed posting an August blog and now its September! The Family Law Support Team at www.divorce-advice-ontario.com is going through a busy period. On Sept 16th and 24th we're running our 8th and 9th Seminars of the year. Since we launched in December of 2008 our seminars have been my favorite aspect of this venture, not just because I am always challenged and excited by the people I meet and the stories they tell, but also because these seminars have been the starting point for many long term relationships with people we've helped get clarity on their complex family law proceedings. To be honest I also enjoy the challenge of public speaking.

I've been thinking a lot recently about relationships, as I think everyone does, and how they relate to what I'm doing through work. There's definitely another level to divorce that the legal system and lawyers are usually incapable of addressing and that's the emotional toll that these situations take on people and the need to resolve that spectrum of divorce. I think it's important to allow yourself to grieve if you have been hurt by the loss "failure" of a marriage. In my opinion the best way to do that is to settle your differences with your ex quickly and outside of the court system. Too many people drag things out in court to get "back" at the other party but this only prevents them from moving on with their lives quicker and makes lawyers richer. That is why we always suggest settling to our clients. Try to look beyond the emotional issues so you can get the logistics completed, then you will have a blank slate to work on your personal issues.

Once you have the legal ties between you cut with a divorce order and you have agreed to your future association/disassociation through asset division, support, custody schedule, child support and so on, you can then go to work on the hard part of managing your psychology and personal life as a divorcee.

I'll write more about the concept of "failure" and how it applies to marriage and relationships (doesn't really exist at all) soon.

Warm Regards,

JL

Emotions and Divorce

Here is a quote from "Radical Honesty" by Brad Blanton. I highly recommend this book for EVERYONE, in particular if you are going through the emotional process of separation, divorce or have unresolved emotional energy from a divorce in your past, including your parent's divorce.

I found many of the ideas put forth in this title to be refreshing and useful. At the end of the day it is your own responsibility to manage your mental health, which can be easily lost in the shuffle of everyday life during a divorce proceeding.

"The process of forgiveness involves the following six minimal requirements, none of which may be skipped.

1. You have to tell the truth about what specific behav ior you resent, to the person, face-to-face;

2. You have to be verbally and vocally unrestrained with regard to volume and propriety;

3. You have to pay attention to the feelings and sensa tions in your body and to the other person as you speak;

4. You have to express any appreciations for the person that come up in the process, with the same attention to your feelings and to the other person as when you are expressing resentments;

5. You have to stay with any feelings that emerge in the process, like tears or laughter, regardless of any evalu ations you may have about how it makes you look;

6. You have to stay with the discussion until you no longer feel resentful of the other person.

Then, and only then, are you ready to talk about the future, make arrangements for the future, or make any agree-ments. Any lawyer, priest, psychotherapist, or other patrol-man who tells you differently about this is full of shit. Any diplomat, bureaucrat, democrat, labor leader, company executive, head of government, husband, wife, son, or daughter who attempts to do other than this is likewise full of shit."

Marriage

Nobody goes into a marriage thinking they are going to get divorced but with the rates of divorce what they are in our society it would make sense for adults, both men and women, to learn more about the institution of marriage, the industry of divorce and the psychology behind both. I have been following Paul Dobransky, M.D. who is an author and psychiatrist focusing on the area of relationships and Men's development (he can be found here: http://www.doctorpaul.net/about/) and he had some interesting things to say recently about marriage.

Recently Dr. Paul wrote:

"One thing is for sure - whether you are twenty
years old or eighty, you will one day have to make
your mind up about what you think of the legal
contract called marriage.

You might be surprised to hear that even if you
are a college student and view marriage as a vague
concept at least ten years away, it will actually
serve your dating life NOW, in a remarkable way,
to know ahead of time how it works, what the
challenges to our culture are, and especially what
your opinion of it is.

Why?

Because the desire to partner and the dream of
marriage is biologically hard-wired into a woman's
brain, and tied to whether she will even be
sexually attracted to you.

That's right. Your views on marriage and a woman's
passion for the concept don't just affect old
people. It directly impacts your sexual
attractiveness to women RIGHT NOW."

If you are interested in learning more about the psychological and biological basis of marriage I highly recommend his books. If you are already in the process of divorcing or are thinking about it I recommend you take a look at the divorce-advice-ontario.com website and the multitude of resources available for you so you can learn the logical (institution of divorce) laws so you can get on with your life and resolve the issues around your family law case without giving away your life savings to a lawyer.

Get divorced and help the environment

I recently read that in parts of Indonesia in order to get a divorce you must plant 50 trees. This is part of a government program to aid in assisting certain regions that have been influenced by deforestation. The article was unclear as to if the divorcing couples had to plat the 50 trees together or separately.

If you are considering a divorce in Ontario you won't need to grab a shovel any time soon but you will have to do some metaphoric digging into what your rights are and what the process is in Ontario. One way to do this is by ordering a video divorce kit from the Family Law Support Team which explains how to draft a divorce application or respond to one that has been served on you. The kit is meant as a learning tool to save you money so you do not need to spend it on a lawyer. For more information go here

What not to do with your children when you Separate

Story of missing daughter

It may be too early to know exactly what happened here.

What is important to remember is that decisions regarding the children in a family law case are always open to review by the courts so no decision is ever forever. On top of this, one day soon your children will be adults and they will remember your actions during the divorce period. It is important that you and your ex-spouse try and maintain positive relationships with your children and try not to use your children as leverage in your divorce. It will come back to haunt you when they are grown ups.

Separation Agreements

Separation Agreements: What are they and how do you get one?

A separation agreement is a contract that is intended to settle the affairs of couples who have separated. This agreement can be signed even before any legal proceeding has been commenced.

There are a number of things to keep in mind when talking about a separation agreement (this list is not meant to be exhaustive since everyone’s circumstances are different):

1. The agreement should put to rest once and for all the following:

1. A division of property including the matrimonial home, furniture and other assets;
2. Spousal support and when or if it will terminate;
3. Child custody;
4. Child support and when it will terminate;
5. Sharing child related expenses;
6. Access and holiday schedules for the child(ren);
7. Any other issues that you or your spouse feel need to be finalized in writing.

2. You need to prepare a Financial Statement that lists all of your assets and debts.

3. You should consider whether you need a parenting coordinator.
4. Be aware of the pitfalls of not receiving Independent Legal Advice.

You can seek out the assistance of a mediator to help you in the negotiation. This is a very useful way to reach an agreement since the mediator is often a lawyer and he or she will be able to guide you both through the process. The cost of a mediator is far, far less than the cost of two warring lawyers.

It is important to understand that you can never contract away on a permanent basis the issues surrounding children. Courts consider the ‘best interests of the children’ as paramount and therefore issues surrounding custody and access as well as child support are always subject to change if circumstances change.

Once you have signed a separation agreement you can then go ahead with a divorce at minimal cost. If you were in a common law relationship then once the agreement is signed you are able to move forward with your life.

Divorce and Children - in the news

One of the major difficulties in divorce between parents of young children is what to do when you and your ex disagree on how to make a major decision regarding a child. In this case in Quebec it got ugly.

Quebec Girl Sues Dad

The Starting Over Show

It is becoming abundantly obvious to anyone involved in the divorce industry that changes are occurring on a global scale. Ontario is not the only jurisdiction that is facing challenges that require innovative solutions.

I recently met the UK based founder of The Starting Over Show who has decided to put on the first divorce show (similar to common wedding shows/conventions) in that country. Her show: www.startingovershow.co.uk/ focuses on helping people adjust to life after marriage and maintains a positive focus. I could see this working in Canada as many people going through a separation and divorce are unsure where to go to get help whether they need legal advice, counseling, or another type of support.

Divorce in Tough Economic Times?

This is a question that many unhappy couples are struggling with all over this country in our new and uncertain economy. There is no answer that fits every situation. Certainly there are those who are so miserable in their relationship and find it so intolerable that the last thing on their mind is timing.

There are people who do have the opportunity to plan ahead and to calculate when they should separate so that they will receive the best financial advantage. The decision which is right for you depends on your own situation and what you seek in the divorce process.

Issues of child and spousal support are tied directly to income. However there are different considerations for each type of support. Child support should not be an issue because it is reviewed and adjusted every year with income fluctuation. Spousal support on the other hand is usually a figure that is fixed at the time the agreement is reached or court judgement is issued and is directly income based. It has a lot to do with both parties income at the time. So if you seek spousal support and your spouse has lost his or her job or had a large salary reduction because of the economy, that is definitely an issue.

Equalization of net family property is the biggest consideration. The valuation of what you own for the purposes of dividing things up is based on what they are worth on the date of separation. If the value of investments, real estate and personal property has dropped significantly then you may want to hang on until there is an economic recovery.

For years I have heard people hesitate about separating because they are nervous about money, the ability to carry on financially on their own, and because they think the timing may not be right for a variety of reasons, no matter what the state of the economy. My best advice to you is to consult a lawyer, get some counselling and take the road that they and you decide is best.

What's the first thing to do when considering a divorce?

The first thing you need to be clear about is whether or not you are serious about getting a divorce. Divorce is costly, financially and emotionally, and it should be seriously thought through before proceeding.

Lawyers in Ontario are required to ask if there is any prospect of reconciliation and so you need to contemplate this before you go see a lawyer. You may want to consider marriage counseling if there is a chance to save the marriage, especially if there are children involved. Ask yourself - have you tried your best to save the marriage and is it worth saving?

Once you have answered this question you need to get on with the family law courts process and resume the rest of your life as soon as possible. If you have decided that divorce is the only option remaining then you need to begin to educate yourself on the process and laws in your jurisdiction so that you can resolve the significant issues outstanding as you separate and get a divorce.

Welcome

Welcome to the Divorce Advice Ontario Blog. This blog is for family law self litigants. If you find yourself dealing with a divorce or family law situation and can not afford the legal costs associated with hiring a lawyer, this blog will offer stories to assist you. It is a real challenge to self litigate your family law case but it CAN be done. My group, the FAMILY LAW SUPPORT TEAM at www.divorce-advice-ontario.com is dedicated to providing legal support at a reasonable cost. This blog will provide you with current family law case stories from the Ontario family courts.

Various current issues will be reviewed in our blog on a regular basis. These will include our review of the court process and we will keep you updated on changes in the family law rules, practices and procedures. We will also discuss general topics of interest to those who are thinking of separating, actually separated, and those who are involved in the family court process.